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Usually I could parry with some half-baked excuse about buckling down in the library for midterms. If she ever got wise about why I had another final exam every six weeks, I figured I could just blame it on the metric system.
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It would have worked on me. Don’t get me wrong. I felt plenty guilty, even without her dumping fuel on the fire. Categories cunt dick tubes. I think it broke her heart a little that first year I didn’t come home for Christmas. The way I heard it later, she spent the whole morning expecting me to show up out of the blue, with an apology and an over-stuffed suitcase, like some cloying bit of Rockwell Americana.

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